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A breakup can be heartbreaking and the inclination to stay friends is understandable.
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When someone was important to you romantically, it's natural to want to hold on to that connection. However, this can be difficult territory. Go slowly and give each other space at first.
Transition from dating to friends
Manage your emotions by reminding yourself the relationship is over. As you move forward, remember to keep your emotions in check to sustain the relationship long term. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 9 references. Sair de um Relacionamento e Restaurar a Amizade. Agree to give each other space at first. For the first weeks or months after a breakup, space is key.
How to Go from Dating to Being Friends Again - wikiHow
If you try to jump straight into friendship, this is likely to backfire as you'll both be too emotional. Agree to a set period of time to cease or minimize contact so feelings of attraction, romance, and resentment can fade. How much time you give is subjective.
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Some people may be ready for friendship in a few weeks, while others may need a few months. How much time you spent in the relationship will have an effect; longer relationships typically require longer periods of limited contact. Wait until there's no unfinished business to pursue a friendship. The reason it can be difficult to stay friends with an ex is that people feel the relationship is not finished.
If you find yourself feeling you have more to say, or still need closure, it's not the right time to be friends.
Wait until you feel at peace with the breakup to pursue a friendship. If you need to talk about a few more things before you can be friends, have a discussion with your ex about any loose ends a few weeks after you break up.
Transition from dating to friends
Be sure to tie up practical loose ends. If you shared belongings or lived together, wait until your lives are completely separate before pursuing a friendship. Boundaries are important to any relationship, especially complicated ones. Recognizing your own feelings and limitations is key to establishing firm boundaries with an ex. Spend some time thinking over how your ex makes you feel and what kind of contact you're comfortable with.
Maybe you don't like discussing your ex's new relationships. Maybe you don't like that your ex still calls you by your pet name. It's always okay to request someone stop or tone down behaviors that bother you.
Talk openly about boundaries. Find a good time and place to have a calm, sit down talk about your boundaries in regards to a friendship. Let your ex know directly what kind of contact is still appropriate and let them share their feelings as well. Let's not talk about dating together.
Setting boundaries after a breakup can hurt, even if it's for the best. Recognizing contact will be more minimal and that certain topics are off limits can sting. After setting boundaries, do something nice for yourself. Go for a walk, watch a movie, or make plans with friends. In turn, this may help you recover sooner.
Let go of the hopes you have for a relationship. Remind yourself the relationship is over. One of the major downsides of staying friends with an ex is that it can sometimes keep the hope of a relationship alive. Remember, you are exes for a reason and you need to let go of any dreams you had for the relationship. If you find yourself fantasizing about your future together, stop.
Think to yourself, "We're not together anymore, and that isn't going to happen. Think about how you can support each other as friends instead of as romantic partners. Fundamentally different world views or different lifestyles can cause a breakup.
Now that you're just friends, you can appreciate these differences more. Now you're free to embrace the positives of having a friend who's different from you instead of worrying about your romantic compatibility.