Slow burn dating

It is nevertheless important.

Author: Rebecca

Taking things slowly at the start of a relationship and making sure that you have time between dates to talk to your friends, take advice, think about that nagging thought at the back of your mind that is trying very hard not to get lost in all the excitement. It means allowing the object of your affection to be a part of your life, but not being consumed by them or your new relationship.

It means not neglecting other connections whether romantic, sexual or platonic or neglecting other things that are important to you in order to focus on this new relationship. This might mean that the energy between you feels a little bit less intense and less all encompassing, but it is also likely to lead to a less volatile relationship. This can mean neglecting your job, your friends, your health, your other partners, your projects, and passions.

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What you do demonstrates your values and commitments — and dropping everything else in your life for a new sweetie demonstrates your priorities. It is far too easy to get so caught up in someone new that you lose sight of who you are. It is much harder to share your less shiny bits. We went our separate ways. Fast forward, five years later.

Dating: Take It Slow

This woman is more mature and smart. Also, after being burned, I know exactly what I want and need in man and from a relationship. I have everything that I need in life and I am working hard to realize all the goals that I set out to achieve. So I am prepared. They say there is a love that you look for and then there is a love that finds you. He entered my life similarly to how a drizzle starts on a cool day without any dark clouds indicating that there will be any heavy rain later on.

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I knew I could make it to my destination without much damage to my clothes or my hair. However, sometimes the greatest damage comes from the smallest things in life. By the time I arrived, I was completely soaked, dripping water everywhere. Feeling the effect of the drizzle in my skin, bones and my body.

That was how Paul consumed me. He was my friend, even before I went to university. We kept in touch throughout the years; sharing our journeys, happiness, triumphs and challenges. Some days we will talk for hours and on other days; only a very short text message from him will quench my loneliness- bringing a smile to my face. He was my best friend. He knew almost everything about me and I, him. Life brought us in the same city two years ago; making our encounters easily arranged.

We met every weekend if neither of us had any plans. We would talk about everything and nothing sometimes.


As I made moves in my life and career, we shared all the details with each other. Advising one another which strategy is the best and cheering each other on when we felt depleted of energy to go on; because we all know, at times, life can be very hard.

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  • I started blowing other plans on the weekends so that I could spend time with him; and I noticed the same for him. Overtime, we became what each of us needed in another person. As I sat with my friend- Emily, telling her every conversation that I had with Paul; I noticed she paused long enough to stare at me and there was a look of disbelief in her eyes.


    We live in an era when we may satisfy our desires within nanoseconds of expressing them. We focus on getting the most out of every minute. We chase down productivity hacks in hopes of creating more time in which we can achieve. I aim for five days a week at the gym. I listen to educational podcasts while I drive or cook.

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    • I knit while I watch TV. I read for an hour before bed, no matter how tired I am. I prune the roses without taking a moment to smell them. I find this is true in dating as well.