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Hooking up can be a precarious business. There's a lot that goes into getting laid that most people don't take the time to think about. When it comes down to it, your success with the ladies hinges upon everything from your appearance to your apartment to your flirting skills.
Getting laid isn't all about game or style on their own. It's about having all of those things and more together at once. Because even if you're the smoothest guy around, you're not going to get laid if you smell like actual trash. So here is the ultimate guide to hooking up.
In this handbook, I cover everything from personal grooming, to sliding into her DM's, to sliding it in wink, wink. Every single thing you need to know about finding a hookup is included in this article… so pay close attention. Taking notes isn't required, but it's encouraged. Grooming isn't just for the flaming or the female. Don't get me wrong, women like a little musk. But there is a huge difference between musk and smelling like a sour gym locker.
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So please, for the sake of your sex life, spend some dedicated time in front of a mirror. Let's start with basics, shall we? To some, this section might seem like common sense… However, to some of you reading, the concept of decent hygiene has managed to elude you even into your adulthood. Before going out on a date, or to a bar to pick up girls, or having a girl over for a dick appointment, you best take a shower. Even if it's just a body shower, please fucking shower.
Rinse off your day and all the sweat that came with it before you plan on encountering any ladies. Don't have time for a shower? Take a whore's bath with some wipes or a washcloth. You'll feel fresher, and a once-over with a wet-nap could make a world of a difference. When it comes down to it, you're going to want to smell damn good if you're looking to hookup. This brings us to the topic of cologne… Axe almost got it right with their mantra of pit-pit-chest because you should be applying cologne to three areas but not necessarily your armpits… because your deodorant should take care of your pit stench that being said, please wear deodorant.
Spray the inside of one of your wrists with cologne, rub together with your opposite wrist, and dab behind your ears. Then either spray your chest or, if your cologne is especially strong, do the patented spray-delay-and-walk-away. Spray your cologne in the air, wait a moment for it to float down through the air, and then walk through the cloud of cologne with your eyes and mouth shut, you don't want to go blind or inhale that shit. This will make sure you're properly perfumed and keep you from smelling too harshly of cologne.
You should also be making sure that you're brushing and flossing regularly.
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Girls will notice yellow teeth. And it's a huge turn off. If she plans on kissing you, she doesn't want a visual confirmation that your dental hygiene is anything less than stellar. Are you notorious for getting stuff caught in your teeth?
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Keep these floss things in your desk or your car, along with some Wet Ones for that whore's bath I mentioned earlier! Okay, let's talk about your scalp. Dandruff is common with both men and women; it seems more prevalent with men because women manage it better. If you're hoping a girl is going to want to run her hands through your hair, you better not be flakey! Get some medicated shampoo, and tea tree oil if needed, and keep your shit flake-free if you have this problem. Another thing that girls pay close attention to is a guys hands… more specifically the length and cleanliness of his nails.
If your nails are too long, what girl is going to want them inside them? If they're dirty, they're definitely not going to let you slip a finger in, no matter how good the make-out sesh is. So keep your shit short.